The Healthiest Ways To Release Any Stuck Emotions


flowerLast week I talked about how the energy flow through your living space makes a big impact on how you feel living there, and I gave a few super easy ways to increase the fresh energy flow through the room.


Likewise, the energy flow through your physical body determines how it feels to live in your body.


When the energy is flowing through your body, you are releasing the old and welcoming in the new and healing happens effortlessly.

In fact, that is what happens when the energy flows through your body: it gives rise to emotions… emotions are the body’s energetic release valve.


Often we are tempted to label this as a bad thing…. as something gone wrong.
But when energy is flowing through your body — this is never a bad thing.


Change and flow and emotion is life.

The body giving rise to emotions and symptoms is a good thing — it is a natural way for your body to express what energy is flowing through it and to release it.


This is what healing is all about — expressing the energy dynamic of the tissues/chakras/organ systems/emotional body and releasing it.

Giving rise to symptoms is never the problem.

Releasing it… that’s where it gets tricky.


If we could stay in the flow and allow the body to do what it does best — release and naturally re-align with healing — then no symptom or emotion would last forever.

This is harder than it sounds, though… that’s one thing I know FOR SURE as I am living in a state of constant stress and uncertainty just like everyone else.


Here are some tips on how to get into a state of allowing the energy to flow instead of resisting it.


Here are ways to get more release, less resistance.


1. Sadness and grief.


Sadness needs to physically flow through the body in order to release.

You must *feel* the sorrow.

Don’t try to resist it or put it off, instead get into the state of allowing the flow using this one simple trick: water.


returning home watermarked

Water is the ultimate medium of flow on earth, and comprises the majority of our body.

In fact, water is the body’s natural choice of release as well, in the form of tears. Tears often help facilitate the flow of sorrow through the body and allows it to release more easily.

So one tip is — allow the tears.


Let the water of your tears release your sorrow and lift it from your body.


Can’t cry? You can still use the power of water to help facilitate the release of your sorrow, worry or grief.

  • Use a hot water bottle full of warm water and hold it on your body where you are feeling the sorrow (chest, abdomen, neck, back…)
  • Take a long hot bath (add some baking soda and apple cider vinegar to turn it into a detoxing experience)
  • Sit in a warm shower and envision the water carrying your sorrow down the drain for you
  • Go for a relaxing swim or soak in a jacuzzi
  • Use steam/humidifiers to help hydrate your head, clearing out the old mental fog and allowing room for the new
  • Drink water — hydrate hydrate hydrate during times of worry or sorrow more than any other time of your life. Let your body be flushed out inside and out and with every urination or bowel movement recognize you are flushing the old energy down the drain and making way for new healing
  • Just can’t get into the flow?  Take a nap. Just allow your body to do its thing and rest more than normal… repairing from grief and sorrow takes time and is exhausting… allow your body the down time it needs and don’t put any expectations on the process.



2. Fatigue or depression


The feeling of heavy fatigue or draining depression means your body needs a break… NOW.

Not later.

You must to honor this sensation/symptom for the important information it is providing instead of ignoring or resisting it.


Fatigue and depression show up to alert us that we are in a time of healing/repair and not in a time of action. Help it by:

  • Low key exercise. Respect your body’s need to slow down. Now is not the time for strenuous exercise… honor caring for your body in gentle ways such as yoga, stretching, long slow walks through nature.
  • Get help. You don’t need to do it all alone. Ask for help. Call a friend. Lean on family to help with some of the burdens you are seeking relief from. Here are some more ideas on how to seek out help.
  • Passive body work. Your body needs to get into receiving mode and not giving mode. Your giving mode is burnt out. What I’ve noticed is that most people who struggle with depression are the givers who are giving to everybody but themselves. You DESERVE to give your body the message that there is a time to stop and receive. Get a massage, acupuncture, reiki, physical therapy, a facial, a haircut. Anything that is a passive process for you — let others actively help move that energy through your body and help you on your way to release it.
  • Deeper sleep at night… get some more ideas on this here.


3. Frustration and anxiety


These emotions are a very active state, where you have lots of energy building up inside, and the answer to this (as in all emotions) is to really allow the flow to open up and release it to find relief.

So with this energetic state you generally need to get into a more active state of allowing, in contrast to the passive allowing state required by sadness, grief, depression and fatigue.


Frustration and anxiety states respond to active release… so give some of these a try:

  • Meditation — this is a very active and aware state that puts you in the perfect open-but-alert mind-frame necessary for relief. Focus on taking 5 deep breaths in and out and choose a mantra for the in breathe and the out breath. IF you can do 10 breaths, do 10. Work up to 20, 30, 50 breaths of focused openness:

breathing in: I am lovable, breathing out: I am loved

breathing in: I am safe, breathing out: I am taken care of by God

breathing in: I am protected, breathing out: I am healing

  • Gentle exercise — moving the body and quieting the mind is the goal of many gentle, healing practices such as yoga, tai chi, qigong. If your energy feels more intense and will not allow you to settle down enough to do those types of exercise, honor your body’s need for active processing by something a bit more intense like pilaties, karate, kick boxing, or going on a long jog.
  • thank you earthGive to others. Unlike depression and fatigue, the gift of anxiety is the gift of having energy to give and express… and one of the best way to off-gas this is to give to others in need. Volunteer at a cause that is meaningful to you, start a year of gratitude (doing one act of thankfulness to loved ones or strangers each week and record it in a gratitude journal) or just go out into the world each day asking that you be shown a way you can be of service. The point here is not to add any more stress into your life — do not do ANYTHING that doesn’t feel right. This is not a burden, it’s a very simple way to get rid of extra energy/tension. Consider doing simple things that don’t require a lot of preparation but will allow you to actively process and off gas extra energy. For example, walk along a road in your neighborhood and pick up litter for an hour after dinner. Pick up an extra pizza on your way home from work and give the extra one to a construction crew as you pass (this was my daughter’s favorite “gratitude attack” that we’ve done so far this year in our own Year Of Gratitude…) or head to your local SPCA and take some of the dogs on a walk each weekend. In fact…
  • Care for a pet. Caring for a pet is the PERFECT way to allow your energy to flow in a loving and active, yet low stress way. Simply walking your dog every day, spending 30 minutes petting your cat while she purrs on your chest, whistle to a pet bird and teach him your favorite TV show theme song… study after study has shown that pets improve our health simply by being in our lives. During times of anxiety and frustration, loving on a pet a little extra each day gives a heart-centered but simple way to open our heart chakras and allow excess energy to flow.


I hope those illustrations can give you a sampling of ideas on how to take ANY emotion you are feeling, recognize it simply as energy that wants to flow through your body and be released, and honor the message. Getting into the state of release, whether active or passive, is the solution.


If I did not address your specific emotion above, just use your intuition to guide you.

Or use mine! Leave me a message in the comments below and I’d be thrilled to give you an idea or two to help you get into the flow.

Or if you have additional ideas, I always love when you share them in the comments section as well, this benefits us all.


Much love… xoxoxo, Laura





10 Responses to “The Healthiest Ways To Release Any Stuck Emotions”

  1. Christine

    Laura, I really liked this post. Mostly I here how to skip or cover over “negative” emotions, but then they only get buried and come back repeatedly — I guess that is the “getting stuck.” Also, your suggestions were so practical. I especially liked the water ones. I’d not heard those things grouped in that way. I like the going down the drain thought.

    So many people’s suggestions for stress-reduction involve a lot of “doing” that it can be even more tiring. Sometimes we all need someone to do something for us instead. It’s a necessary indulgence.
    xo, Christine

    • Laura Koniver, MD

      Thank you so so much for your wonderful comment Christine… I really appreciate you taking the time to share it here! You are SO RIGHT… it’s too easy to read about positive thinking or something that just feels like covering up the energy of what is really happening in our bodies when we have an emotion. Processing it is so much more healing!!! I’m so glad you liked my suggestions and am grateful for your kind words here… xoxoxox, Laura

  2. Laura Koniver, MD

    I got a great tip from reader Marilyn and she gave the a thumbs up to post this in the comments in case the idea can help another reader…. Thanks Marilyn!!! xoxox, Laura

    “When I feel the emotions building and require an outlet. I clean, I clear and I find clarity,such a reward when I am done. Not just your normal cleaning up but real…. wash baseboards, trim, walls and scrub, shred papers etc and during that time I release. I go into this zone and empty my mind and just allow everything to flow out of my hands as I scrub. I am laughing as I write this.. but it is such a cathartic experience for me… I do not want to be around other people when I am going thru this and then when I am totally spent I feel calm once again. I then smudge myself with sage and do the same in my house. As I open all the windows and allow the wind to blow thru the house on some level I feel cleansed.”

  3. Jim Becker

    Thank You, Laura. I am so glad I discovered your website. I feel like you are a good friend already, and I am comforted by your warm advice. Speaking of warm, how about baking emotions and toxins out in a hot sauna? I always feel like the increased pulse is a passive form of exercise, and the deep relaxation and detox feels great! Of course there is always the danger of dehydration, but pouring on the fluids just speeds up the purification process for me. I used to belong to a “European Health” club, where you could take a cold plunge Finnish-syle between sessions in the sauna. I could do it over and over. Now I take a cold shower, but it’s not the same. With Winter coming to Nebraska, though, I’m sure the shower water at our YMCA will be very bracing!!
    Warmly, Jim

    • Laura Koniver, MD

      Jim, that’s AWESOME advice — I love it. Like using the energy and flow of water and amping up the speed by flushing it through your system — fluid in, sweat out. I agree, adding the element of heat enhances the flow all the more. I love using hot water bottles for releasing energy in stuck, sore muscle cramps… this is a whole body experience you suggest, taking it to a new level! Thank you SO MUCH for leaving this tip here for my readers to enjoy… much appreciation, xoxo, Laura

  4. Blanca Rodriguez

    Thank you so much for this post. It is very helpful! Do you have any advice on how to release anger?

    • Laura Koniver, MD

      Hi Blanca! Thank you so much for posting this question here… it’s a great one and I should absolutely have included anger in my article!!! Anger is generally released best during something very physical — think kickboxing or running or even a whiffleball bat hitting your pillow! But sometimes anger is best spent when it is raw and passionate and intense… think letters filled with stream of consciousness that you burn, bonfires and chanting and singing and screaming… driving in the car with windows down and singing at the top of your lungs… writing songs and poems that cut deeply and can be released by shredding them up or burning them in a candle… think fire, flame, voice, song, scream, punch or kick. Any combo of the above. And the important part is the release of those things, not the final outcome. Not writing the perfect song but screaming a silly made up on off the top of your head, filled with your deepest truths, sung to nobody by your own soul, sung in the shower or on a long drive… Not undertaking formal boxing training but running through your neighborhood in the rain until you are spent… that kind of thing. Does that help? Much much love to you… xoxoxo, laura

      • Blanca Rodriguez

        Yes it helps a lot. I do feel that I am holding in a lot that needs to be let out. I’m getting an operation to have my thyroid removed in two weeks.I feel that my disease has something to do with my anger, but unfortunately, I will be having to have surgery very soon. I will still apply your advice in the future. Thank you

        • Laura Koniver, MD

          I think you will feel a very marked improvement after the operation Blanca — I’d definitely go into it with the intention that the operation itsself will be a healing event and physically, emotionally and energetically lift so much off your body. I send you love and comfort for the procedure and hope you’ll stop by and let me know how it goes… xoxo, Laura

        • Laura Koniver, MD

          I think you will feel a very marked improvement after the operation Blanca — I’d definitely go into it with the intention that the operation itself will be a healing event and physically, emotionally and energetically lift so much off your body. I send you love and comfort for the procedure and hope you’ll stop by and let me know how it goes… xoxo, Laura