Kids Rule My World! And Everything They Taught Me, I’ve Put Into This Latest eCourse!


The pictures in today’s post were taken on New Years Eve, at Sullivan’s Island.  We had a nice warm day for the last day of 2010… sunny and cool… perfect for rock climbing and beach walking!

I love kids.  Especially mine 🙂  They have changed my entire existence and I’m richer for it.  It’s been such a steep learning curve for me… I’ve gone from being a professional physician and motivated by wanting to succeed in the world of medicine to being a homeschooling mother whose heart does backflips watching my children eat breakfast.

I really didn’t feel particularly maternal growing up, although I dearly loved having a younger brother to care for.  But going to med school and getting married there, and even later, during my first pregnancy, I just had this image that Craig and I would be a professional team, running a hospital some day… our kids safely tucked inside the model of conservative society… going to daycare, then school, then college… me running home at the end of a long day, tossing off my high heels and business suit (a la Heather Locklear in Melrose Place) to flop on the sofa and say hi to my kids for the first time all day.

That’s an image that completely changed the moment I had my daughter, and I just knew I wouldn’t, couldn’t, leave her.  Oh boy.  Becoming an overnight full time mother was shocking, but it was just the life changing slap in the face I had been yearning for.  No longer did I feel like life was all one big coincidence.  All of a sudden, every little breath and every little gesture held a meaning beyond words, and I realized that all the little things were just as important… the nursing and the rocking and the singing and the swaying held a value to me that no medical encounter ever had.

Still… there was this thought that one day, sooner then I wanted… my little ones would be off at school and I’d return to work at my husband’s medical practice.  And I did work part time for a while, running off to his office to meet patients the very moment he stepped in the door at the end of his day… swapping the kids over and feeling like I could somehow do it all.

It wasn’t until we decided that homeschooling was right for our family that I gave in to the wonderfulness that surrender brings… letting go of what my future plans would be, I gave myself entirely to being my children’s partner in learning.  Knowing we were going to be doing this together for the long haul… through their teen years… I put countless hours into researching different learning styles, different homeschooling methods, different educational models.

Along the way, I learned through trial and error, and by opening up my heart further then I ever dreamed possible, how best to support my children.  And that is by supporting their innate curiosity, wonder, and desire to learn.  Whatever they are interested in, that’s what we go after.

As I’ve stepped further and further away from the traditional methods of teaching my children, I’ve walked a similar journey in stepping away from conventional methods of health and healing.  Keeping my children safe and healthy, supporting their innate well being… this has been revolutionary for me as well.

Getting to start with these fresh little souls… and really working intimately with them to keep their connection to well being strong, their faith in the strength and health of their bodies, and their knowledge of how resilient the human organism is, has changed how I view health and dis-ease forever.

I’ve been able to watch first hand, through the innocent and pure examples of my children, how our state of mind has a direct impact on health.  How framing and re-framing what we think about our bodies can completely change the course of an illness.   How supporting a child’s confidence in their body’s natural ability to heal, encouraging their connection to nature, supporting their natural desire to have fun, remain joyful, and not take life too seriously, can make all the difference in the world.

I’ve learned some of these things the hard way.  Like most mothers, my first reaction whenmy child is sick is to worry, tense up, and experience anxiety.  Adding this to the situation has not proven helpful… instead I’ve found that entering into a partnership… with my heart wide open… supporting their health in every way I can while also supporting their freedom to experience illness and the contrast that it brings… trusting in the process… has brought a tremendous amount of health confidence to both my children and myself.

Miles took this cool picture of Clara and I…

…and Clara took this absolutely precious picture of her brother Miles!

Now that my kids are a bit older, and I have returned to the relationship of working with patients, I wanted to bring some of the things I learned from my long and winding path through medical school, internship, medical practice, motherhood, homeschool parent, author and artist together, into one dynamic place.

And this is the place.  I’ve written a Health eCourse that I call Kids Connection… it combines the best of everything I know about health as a physician, with everything I *know* about health as a mother and teacher.  It is a three week long course, one that starts out with receiving a paperback Jake book, the book that I wrote and illustrated to help kids connect with joy and freedom.  I will autograph it and mail it directly to you upon enrollment in the course.

Participants will receive daily emails (Monday through Friday) for three weeks straight, each day focusing on a different Well-Being Topic… a different way to connect with your child, playing around with experiments, discussions, meditations, and creativity.

Those daily emails are the basis of the course, sharing with you some of the best resources I’ve discovered along the path I’ve forged… books I’ve found particularly helpful, ideas to consider, and activities to do with your children.  But beyond that, the real idea behind the course is for me to support parents with whatever issues they are currently experiencing with their child.  From bedtime issues, eating challenges and temper tantrums, to supporting alternative lifestyles like family bed arrangements and extended nursing… I’m here to help.  For the entire length of the course, I am available via email for private consultation to help give direct and personalized feedback, supporting you in every way I can.

The afternoon ended with a pod of dolphins swimming past… beautiful.

You can sign up for this eCourse (which starts in less then two weeks, on Jan 17th) right here on my website or in my Etsy shop.  Meanwhile, I’d love to give away one spot in the class for free, right now.  Leave me a comment below and I’ll pick a random winner to enroll in my Kids Connection eCourse… winner announced on Friday.

Please help me out by spreading the word to any and all parents you know who might like to hear about this course.  I appreciate any facebook, email, or verbal referrals you give so very much.  xoxo

Starting 2011 Off On A Good Foot… After Rewinding A Bit…


Hello!  Welcome to a fresh new year!  A year filled with anything you can create… anything you want it to become.

Our family took a few minutes on New Years Eve to write down (on our massive chalkboard that I blog about creating here) all the things we want to manifest in 2011.

Then we walked around the house with a sage smudge stick and cleared the old energy out of each room, adding back in love and excitement for this new year.

But a funny thing happened…. the smudge stick stayed lit while we walked through the downstairs, through each and every room… then up the steps into our bedroom… then our bathroom… where it promptly died.

I had entered the bathroom and took one look at the clutter, the gross nasty surfaces and my little tiny stash of make up and hair stuff shoved into one corner… overtaken by the rest of the family… toothbrushes and toothpaste and washcloths and electric shavers and drinking glasses and tons of other stuff… and I instantly felt crowded out.

I started telling my husband that this is how I feel most of the time — this is my one spot where I’d like five minutes to focus on *me* — help me start off the day feeling pulled together and with fresh breath and a freshly scrubbed face… yet I have to fight for those five (more like two) minutes in between the rest of the family’s needs.

Blah blah blah.  Poor me.  I’m the only one who cleans up this place, the only one who brings the dishes down and cooks breakfast and brushes the kids teeth and yadda yadda yadda.

Then guess what.  I turned and looked at the smudge stick.  Dead.  Fire put out, no more smoke wafting through the room, no more energy being cleared out.

Well no wonder.

Whew, with all the crap I was spewing from my mouth, it was so toxic in there I had managed to complain all the life out of my poor little smudge stick, and smothered it.


In our family, if we do something/say something we regret, we graciously allow a rewind.  I love that.  A chance to start over… and boy I needed that.

So I re-lit the smudge stick, and promptly moved on to the rest of the house.

And the rest of our New Years was awesome… we went to the beach for the afternoon (pics from that day will be posted on Wed…) then fireworks at home, fireworks with friends, late night Jackie Chan movies, and all four of us passing out just before the New Year actual rung in.  Perfect.

When I woke up on the first day of the new year, I had a new energy.  A new feeling.  A new hope.  Could it be more obvious that complaining is not the way for me to go?

Complaining is adding toxic energy to a situation that you already don’t like.

If you don’t believe me, just ask my poor smudge stick.

So complaining is out, and a fresh new take is in.  My new take on my bathroom situation?

Not much has changed, except how I look at it.  I on purpose didn’t clean it… wanting to *choose* this life, this experience, this sharing messy smooshed together life with my amazing family.  I absolutely love it and can’t believe I wasted one moment of my time complaining about it.

My bathroom symbolizes how I care for myself… most of the time I take care of everyone else and my face, my clothes and my hygiene look like my bathroom sink… dirty, greasy, in need of a fresh start.  And most of the time I’m thankful for that… as I know the days I am truly wanted and needed by my little ones grow numbered.

I figure I have the last third of my life, when my children are launched and grown, to sit around washing and powdering my face, taking long showers, getting my haircut at a salon (instead of my husband trimming it at 10 PM like he did for me two weeks ago…)

But by then I won’t want that extra time… who really cares if my eyebrows are perfectly plucked… what I’ll be missing are those voices shouting “Mommy, I’m thirsty!” as I’m trying desperately to fit in brushing my teeth.  I love being Mommy even more then I love being Laura.

So gratitude… that’s the order of the day… gratitude that I have so many toothbrushes to share my bathroom sink with.

And in the meantime, I decided to lit an incense for myself when I need a little reminder to treat myself well, to soak things in, to find my own space, to find my own way… not complaining to my husband, but rather taking a moment to fulfill my own needs.

So on New Years Day, I started off the year not by cleaning my bathroom, but by allowing the mess to be… grateful and in harmony with the clutter, I cleared a small spot by the faucet and found a tiny old mustard jar, filled it with the only things I could find (an old marble and a few rocks and sea shells my kids had picked up along the way) and stuck an incense into it.

Told you the sink was disgusting!  Just ignoring all the discolored splotches and splatters, here I stand, dirty hair in a bun and in my Xmas flannel PJ’s that Grammy gave our family… thanks Mom!

Lighting the incense, I washed my face and watched the smoke dance up through the air, clearing the way.
And guess what.  It stayed lit!

Laughing to myself, grateful for shutting my mouth and being thankful for what I have, and for finding my own solution to my own complaints, I’m ready to pick up where I left off… holding a new flame.

One that I won’t put out with my own thoughts or my words.

How long can I keep this new one lit?  I’m aiming for all year.

This year, 2011, is not to be squandered… it’s to be cherished.  I need that reminder every once in a while.

Consider walking through your house with a sage stick or an incense this week, to clear out your old habits, thoughts and energy, and make way for 2011.  Heck, if your smudge stick stays lit the entire time, you are off to a better start then I was!

And I truly think 2011 will be our best year yet.  It’s going to be hard to beat such a fabulous 2010… but my heart is light and full of joy, my children are more fun then ever, and my husband is the rock of our world.  Yep, 2011 is going to be a good year.  xoxo

Cleopatra, A Mummy, and Some of My All-Time Favorite Etsy Artists


My daughter wants to be an archaeologist some day… some day soon.  I’ve talked about how our backyard is the site of her first dig… and how she has a deep connection to Ancient Egypt.  One thing that I wanted to give her for Christmas was some Egyptian Art for her walls.  I couldn’t find anything that was just perfect for my little Cleopatra… so I decided to make her something.

I lucked upon this amazing Etsy shop, The Octopode Factory.  It is full of awesome characters and artwork, that you can purchase and print out for use in your (not for re-sale) private projects.  I was instantly smitten with the characters… and was so thrilled to find that Lily offered both a Cleopatra and a Mummy drawing.  I purchased them both and set about creating this Egyptian scene for Clara.

The caption says, “Clara and Miles around 3,000 B.C….

…friends for five thousand years and counting…”

and truly, they really are best friends!

Miles the Mummy and Cleopatra Clara

Clara and I figure there is a very good chance she was Cleopatra a few dozen lifetimes ago!

After printing out these adorable images and coloring them in, I sealed them on top of a background I created from paper… paper sand, paper sky, three mini paper pyraminds… then I stamped the letters on the artwork and distressed the edges of the canvas.

She loved it and hung it up on her walls that very morning… right above her poster of Egyptian Mummification techniques.  So very Clara.

I contacted Lily of The Octopode Factory to let her know I was so thrilled with her artwork, and she agreed to do a guest post!  You simply have to check out her shop… it is overwhelming and insipiring and will certainly have you scheming for all the amazing things you could create with her fabulous downloads.

I asked Lily how she got started being such a fabbo artist, and what inspired her to create such fantastical characters.  She said:

I’ve always been creative but a few years ago i started to draw Manga and Chibi… just copying out of books and the internet.  I then started to draw my friends, who slowly evolved into my own characters- with the big eyes, thin legs and creepy gaunt-like features.

Most people compare me to Tim Burton, but strangely i wasn’t really a Tim Burton fan until i was about 13/14 when i saw the similarities between my designs and his for myself… to be honest i was always quite scared of the Nightmare Before Christmas!

But now I LOVE his work and Jack Skeleton is the reason for my Lilyland characters long long legs (The Octopode Factory designs are a little shorter so they can be cut out).

I cant say for sure what inspires me, it’s all really a jumbled up mush of everything I’ve done and am interested in.

When I’m designing my characters, i normally start out with the theme- like Alice in Wonderland or Steampunk- and then go from there.

I usually know what the character looks like in my head but i don’t think about it as i’m drawing them, when i do thats when it goes wrong…the images just appear on the page…

I’ve been drawing them for so long now it’s like i subconsciously draw in that style even when i’m supposed to be drawing naturalistic it seems to turn out quite ‘Lilyish’.


Lily x

She is currently running a special in her shop, 10% off with this coupon code:

I also realized that I never showed you a follow up on My Favorite Thing… My Daughter’s Room… remember how we were re-painting her room at the end of the summer?  This is how it turned out.

I love it.  It is so exactly Clara.  Earthy, organic, calm, funky, and with a goth edge.  Check out her cute Skull and Crossbones pillow (from Baby Blonde Design on Etsy ) and her adorable mummy pillow (from Made By Bees on Etsy).   Check out their shops too, and support handmade!

Awesome!  xoxo

Thoughts on Health… A Poem That Wrote Itself


a close up on my All Is Well original painting

Welcome back from the holidays!!!!  This Monday I was planning on doing a FAQ about Homeschooling… until I woke up this morning with a poem half out of my head and the other half wiggling out.  I didn’t want to forget a word of it, so I grabbed a dull pencil from my nightstand and wrote the words down in the margins of the closest book I could find.

I’m walking a very raw path right now… transforming and still in the creative process of merging my old life (analytical, extremely emotional, impulsive, thinking) with my new one (centered, spiritual, trusting, flowing.)  I don’t really want to leave my old self behind exactly, nor do I want to cling to it… more that I want to take the best that all my life has given me and find a new way to express it.



An image like this is something I just could never believe in growing up, and it was a very scary and lonely way to exist… until the lights turned on and I saw *what is possible* in full color!

As a physician, I had every intention of seeing patients every day and writing prescriptions and doing in-office procedures and working side by side along with my husband to change the lives of patients around us, in a very traditional way.  Motherhood immediately taught me that I could pretty much care less about my own goals when there were these two innocent, glorious souls in my keep that I was head over heels in love with.  And I instantly found the other half that was missing… evidence of the eternal, of souls and heaven and foreverness… realizing my children were souls I could *remember* from long ago… any doubts I had about life after death quickly were replaced by the relief of finally finding something more.

Now it’s been close to a decade since I’ve become a mother and I’m wanting to merge my two lives… all the knowledge that I’ve studied of the human body and the desire for understanding… mixed with my broader perspective of soul energy, karma, and higher purpose… piecing together my own way to see disease as DisEase… I’m reaching out with a new goal of becoming a medical intuitive with an MD… and it’s a very exciting time.

And very scarey.  And physically painful!  I realize that I haven’t been sharing much of that with you here, but I’d like to start.  I began this blog almost one year ago, as the process started… looking back over the past year of entries I can see how I’ve grown, how I’ve started trusting sharing my new vision of health and healing with you all on-line here, how the positive feedback from that vision helped spur me on to create on-line health e-courses and really fueled some of my more recent spiritual artwork.


Now full of light, it’s time for me to let go of my old fears and embrace power, as I step into 2011!  Are you with me?


And now that I’ve got the flow going, it seems it’s time for me to go back and let go of some of the parts of me that aren’t working in this new paradigm.  Clearing out my chakra’s with the help of an amazing energy worker (thanks Aleka!) I am needing to let go of self doubt and embrace empowerment.  I was meditating about that as I fell asleep last night, and woke with this poem in my head.

I will share it with you here, but please be gentle with me!  I literally just wrote it down as the words spilled out… it’s not polished or perfect by any means, I haven’t even had an hour to work with it yet… but this is a letting go and a trusting and as such, I’d like to share it with you here, in it’s raw form.  xoxo

Eternal Now


As a child I walked around with the full weight of terror over me.
Clinging anxiously to my parents,
The earth,
I was forever
Grasping bits of gravel and sand,
Trying to root myself in the present moment I created scrapbook after scrapbook
Holding tangible artifacts from my world,
Trying to hold on
To my life.


I was trying to prevent being sucked off this planet into an endless empty
Vortex of black

An eternal void I always felt behind me, waiting to vacuum me off this earth for good.


I kept asking for a heaven I wouldn’t let myself believe in,
A religious answer I couldn’t find.

All I could find was that Now was all I had.

I became a professional student of The Now
Toxically clinging to everything that I loved
Because after Now…
The vacuum was waiting to completely
Obliterate me.


I’m grateful for the practice of clinging to Now.
As it turns out Now is all I need.

An expert at soaking in The Now I remember to
Smell my daughter’s hair 50 times a day
Reach for my son’s hand another 50 times more
Open my eyes and see the colors in front of me,
Feel the world around me.

Be in it.


And The Now expands eternally in front of me,
Ever evolving.
Ever ready to hold me.

No longer limited by earth or manmade time constructs
I feel limitless.

I see possibility laying before me,
A fullness that has no room for the dark obsidian vacuum any more.

When I leave my body 
I step into The Now ever more fully
Joining and re-joining All that I Am
All that I Ever Was
All that I Will Be
A Now that is eternal

Not temporary… that’s what I was searching for…

And friendly.


How could I have thought that one lifetime on earth was all there would be?
That Right Now was a random event
Waiting to end?


Being a student of The Now is precisely what
Led me to discover something more…

Acutely noticing every nuance of Now
Every coincidence
And Miracle along the way,
Turned my Now from something to cling to
Into something to celebrate…

Evidence right in front of my eyes
Over and over and over
There absolutely is something more then earth,
And it is right here in front of you,
In you and around you,
Walking this path with you every day.


The miracle of Now
Turned this lifetime from a temporary, pointless abyss
Into evidence of a longer journey,
A full coming round,
Energy and spirit swirling together into

Into a Now without end.



Prints and the original canvas are both for sale in my shop.  xoxo!

Winter Solstice (and a quick sewing tutorial)


Winter solstice this year was a great one… a full lunar eclipse (although I admit we slept right on through it in our house) on the eve of winter solstice… magic in the air for sure!

We really enjoy winter solstice at our house… we have a few traditions that we repeat every year.   One is stringing cereal onto thread and draping it across the bare branches of our trees for the wildlife to share… some apples too, hung on a thread.  Our gift to the creatures that share our yard in the night, the longest night of the year.

Miles threading Cherrios onto embroidery floss…

Clara checking to see how far she has gotten on her strand…

I realize you probably don’t need to see a closeup of a cheerio on a string, but I just liked how this picture turned out!

Apples hung on our front yard tree branches, for the deer…

The cheerios for the squirrels…

And extra cereal flung all over the yard… for the birds… and for FUN!

Then we welcome the return of the sun by eating our entire dinner in only candlelight and firelight… thanking the sun for all of it’s strength and energy, and for bringing light into our lives.

Homemade chicken noodle soup heats up on our woodburning stove…

First, the kids hand roll beeswax candles for the center of the table.

For dinner on winter solstice we always have soup and rolls…  Letting the candlelight spill over the room, we soak in the stillness and darkness and make wishes for the new year.

Beeswax candles the kids made… and a mini forest created from SouleMama’s idea (love her blog!)

Writing our hopes and dreams for 2011 on slips of paper, we light them on fire by our candles and watch as the paper transforms to smoke… carrying our intentions out to the universe.

Miles lights his intention on fire…

Clara’s intentions release into the air…

… and the strips of paper get safely dropped into a waiting jar of water when the flames get close to sweet little fingertips!

This year I also crafted a little family gift for the darkest day of the year… water bottle cozies… one for each of us.  Not just for tummy aches, we use hot water bottles to hold onto when we go outside and look at the stars, when we are watching a movie, even to fall asleep with.  Our old cozies were getting pretty nasty, so I made up this pattern to create some fresh new ones.

Tutorial:  Water bottle cozy

Water bottle

fleece fabric, inner and outer layer, both cut into a 10 inche x 33 inch rectangle

sewing machine (or needle and thread if you are going to sew by hand)

1.  I used a standard sized water bottle, but you may need to tweak those measurements to make sure that this cozy works with your particular water bottle.  I’ve seen larger water bottles out there… so just make sure you make a rectangle that is a few inches wider then your water bottle and 2 and a half times as long.

I used an inexpensive sale fleece for the lining (in white) and a nicer fluffy fleece for the outside.

I’m very sorry that these pics have such bad lighting… I was sewing at night!

(I also cut out a quick heart from felt and sewed in onto the outer layer of fleece, for decoration.  Totally optional!)

2.  Lining up the outer fabric with the lining fabric, right sides together, sew around the perimeter of the rectangle, leaving a gap at one end big enough to slip your hand through.

Sewing around the perimeter

The scissors show you where I’ve left a hole to flip inside out…

4.  Reach inside the opening you left and pull the fabric through… flipping the rectangle inside out.  Hand or machine stitch the opening closed.  You now have a long rectangle with completely finished edges.

Nice tucked in edges!

5.  Fold the rectangle like an envelope… pulling one of the short ends of the rectangle up 3/4th of the way, as shown…

6.  … and folding the remaining edge over, so that the two short ends of the rectangle overlap by about 1 or 2 inches, as shown.

7.  Just sew all the way down the side, along the long edge on both sides, securing the fold.

8.  Slip your water bottle inside!  Congrats!   I hope you all had a lovely Winter Solstice, my friends!  xoxo

Thoughts on Health… Positive thinking and a Dream Revelation


I was told recently that life was *easy* for me because I was a positive thinker.  I almost fainted… and laughed.  I am so far from a natural positive thinker it’s not even funny, so I didn’t laugh.

I was extremely pessimistic and worried as a child.

Through lots of diligent work I *literally* am not even the same person that I was years ago.


But I didn’t change this by “positive thinking” — that’s for sure!



I don’t even like the idea of *positive thinking* at all.

Because positive thinking is usually fake… something you try to convince yourself of when what you are really feeling is crappy.

And if there is one thing I hate, it’s fakeness, in any form.  Authentic feelings… authentic crappy feelings, are infinitely more pleasurable to me then fake happy ones.

I don’t mind mucking around in a dismal funk for long stretches of time.  I don’t mind letting it show.  I don’t feel the need to apologize for being human and even being snippy or impatient or even slightly bitchy at times.

If I’m feeling it, I’m going to show it.

No… what I have learned and taught myself to reach for isn’t positive thoughts… it’s positive feelings.


Reaching For Guidance

It’s been a long road that has taken many many years.

Examining each feeling I have and each thought I am thinking and reaching for the thought that makes me  feel better.


So that’s confusing, right?  I just said I don’t like positive thinking.

That’s because the thought that feels better isn’t always a positive thought….

…sometimes it’s all I can do to reach for a thought that feels like a little bit of relief.


Sometime relief is a thought that makes me just a little less angry.

Sometimes it’s one that makes me just a little less impatient.

What I am reach for, every time, is a positive *feeling*.



Many times, I can use thoughts that feel better to help me feel better… but only if it is a genuine thought… one that genuinely resonates with me and brings relief.

Often, I can’t find a thought that helps me feel better, so I reach for a better feeling through action — taking a bath… laying on the earth… painting a picture… drinking another cup of coffee… crying… sitting in a void of blankness… sitting for 20 minutes on the floor of the shower… all of these things, at one point or another, have helped me choose a better *feeling*.

So I say, abandon all attempts at positive thinking.

I *hate* positive thinking… how’s that for positive!  🙂

Positive thinking just makes me feel like one more thing I’m not doing right, when I’m not feeling well and I try to cover it up with positive thoughts.

There will always be a thought that knocks you down… can’t control those, they come, that’s life… but we can stop believing in them all the time and instead of focusing on our thoughts, focus on our FEELINGS.


Taking a moment to ground myself to the earth below…

I center my body from below and then reach for a higher awareness from above.

I don’t try to put fake happy chipper thoughts into my head and try to cheer myself up — that is instant disaster.

Instead, I try and come up with a million different thoughts or actions I could believe in, and then I feel around for which one makes me feel better… usually, I move towards  sense of relief.

  • It might be “I feel like a hot fudge sundae.”
  • Or maybe “I am going to choose to be pissed off right now because it *feels* better then trying to cheer myself up!”
  • Or, “I am taking myself way too seriously here… I need to crank up some music and just dance.”


Eventually, selecting your thoughts based on how you FEEL will be so easy it will be second nature.

So…. do not control your thoughts… just move towards what feels better.  Or if nothing feels better… move towards not believing every thought… just reminding yourself that over and over… until relief does crop up as an option.

Even though I don’t always choose a positive thought…

I do usually do the work of reaching for a more positive feeling.


I’m no longer okay with letting my thoughts run away with me and me doing nothing to clean up my act.

And what I have found is that it has gotten easier and easier.

  • What used to take me an entire day to turn around, now takes an hour.
  • What used to really push my buttons before, doesn’t even have the power to push them any more.
  • What used to bring me down into the doldrums for a week might give me an hour or two of wanting space.
  • But never do I ever reach the depths of the darkness I used to be taken to over and over in the past.
  • Even in my darkest moments now, I *know* there is a light waiting for me, and that this mood is just that… a temporary mood.
  • I no longer feel that it is the end of the road.




It got me thinking, though.  Why is is infinitely easier for me to reach for a positive feeling now? 

It’s second nature.  In fact, a positive feeling is my general state of living now, save for a few mood swings and PMS!


I went to bed thinking about how wonderful it is, how I literally don’t feel like the same person I used to be.

And then I had a dream.  And I want to share it with you here:


I dreamed that I was standing in front of a big projector screen, and a powerful and loving male voice was teaching me stuff that human beings haven’t discovered yet.

He was answering my question, of why I can reach for joy so much more easily now.


He was showing me a large, close up picture of an iron gate, with intricate scrollwork.

There were all kinds of lines and loops and twists and patterns in the iron gate, it was gorgeous.

He said to me:

“Do you see all of the patterns this gate makes?  Someone who thinks negatively would look at the gate and see all of the pointy tips… it would look like lightening bolts and spears.

This is physically what they would see when looking at this… lightening bolts.

Someone who has created a different pattern of thoughts in their brain, over the years, would physically evolve different neuronal connections, different synapses, and different brain chemistry levels that would physically cause them to see this gate entirely differently.

They would look at this same exact gate, and see the loops and scrolls… the patterns would reveal hearts and circles.  That is all they would be able to see when looking at the gate.

Even though it’s the same gate.  Two different human beings.  Each with open eyes, both seeing completely different things.

The one seeing the hearts and loops isn’t *trying* to see hearts and loops… they aren’t reaching for a positive way to look at this gate… this is simply what they actually see now.  The brain has changed.

Your physicians and scientists on earth haven’t even BEGUN to understand how complex and alive and ever-changing the brain is.

The brain is constantly evolving and adapting.  By choosing different thought patterns, you literally change your physical brain.

If you took a sample of your brain when you were a young adult, and analyzed the chemistry and structure of it… and then took a sample of your brain now… looked at the chemistry and structure of it… it is literally a different brain.

You have physically changed the properties of it by your thoughts.

You no longer can look at that gate and see what you would have seen had you looked at this gate a few years ago.

You look at it now and see the hearts.  You can no longer see the lightening bolts.  Simple as that.”


I totally believe that we just don’t know even 1/10th of what our brains can do.

I fully believe that my chemistry is different then it was when I was a child.

I think different thoughts.  I feel differently then I did.

I did that actively, over time, with only my own attention to what I was thinking and directing myself to choose a better feeling through picking better thoughts.

It wasn’t *positive thinking*… many times it was only *find something that will get you to survive another five minutes of being alive*… but it was always moving towards feeling better.

And slowly but surely, it got easier.

And easier.

And now I feel like an entirely new person.


It’s like that old Pantene commercial… “It didn’t happen over night… but it did happen.”

So what do you folks think?  Did I have a divinely inspired dream?  Was it a psychic revelation?  Or simply wishful thinking?

Do you think in the future we will have studies that back up our thoughts being able to effect lasting structural change on our brain chemistry?

I’d love to know what you all think… xoxo



Releasing Weight and Food Issues (guest post)


Do you all remember my dear friend Aleka?  She’s been a guest blogger here several times… if you missed it, check out her previous posts here and here.

I just love her.  She sees things with such a powerful clarity that it can take your breath away.  She has popped on over here again this time to share some very exciting news… about a new on-line support course for food and weight issues that is very intensive and healing… combining daily emails, a private on-line chat room, and personal sessions one-on-one with Aleka directly.

Aleka has a background in nutrition and years of experience being a head nutritional counselor at a recovery center in Hawaii… she then takes her clinical knowledge beyond food facts and translates them into an emotional recovery system that has nothing to do with what you eat, but everything to do with what is eating you.

She gets to the root of what your food and weight issues symbolize for you, and how to heal.

In her own words:

“The following program is based on much of the work I have done with clients over the last 10 years as well as my own personal journey. This program is not another diet. We won’t be talking about calories, fat grams, exercise in the way you may be used to. I have no diet pills, shakes, or bars to sell you. This is not about managing food but uncovering the parts of you that believe you need to be managed. The parts of you that don’t trust yourself. The parts of you that  seeks comfort, peace, love and is mistakenly using food to do it. This program is about identifying the barriers you have erected, the errors in perception you have about yourself, the beliefs  you wrongly perpetuate that keep you from the true expression of who you are.”

“The purpose of life is not to be safe. It is to be open. To be dedicated to the truth, to the joy as it streams through your life. Because if you are not, then no matter what you have, you will always want more, you will be forever hungry. And if you are, than no matter what happens, you will one day discover that it is you who you have been hungering for. It has been you, not the food you eat, the clothes you buy, the people you love, the money you make. For lifetimes, for eons, for as long as it takes for a mountain to become a mountain, it has always been you. You are the feast. You.” ~Geneen Roth

“There is a language we can begin to decipher  as we  listen to our inner selves speaking to us, telling us what we must do to feel whole. And it is speaking through our relationship with food. Together we will find the blocks, the weight on your heart that echoes the weight on your body, that is  keeping you from your natural hunger. We can shed our layers of pain, getting back in touch with our inner wisdom and innate guidance system. Because our birthright is  freedom and peace in our minds and our bodies. We are already perfect. We have just forgotten.  Now it’s time to remember.”

“So I ask you…

What would you do if food were not an issue in your life? If you didn’t plan, deny, crave, and judge yourself around food?
What would you have time for?
What it would feel like to be free?

The Program..Food and Feelings Phase 1:
This is a completely online 6 week course that you can complete on your own time and on your own terms. Every week there will be a main theme and everyday a bit of insight, a  exercise, an affirmation etc. to help you go further into that weeks theme. Each week will build on itself as we go deeper into our process of healing. This course is private, confidential,  and enlightening. No matter where you fall on the spectrum of eating or body image issues you can find healing.

The Details:
I will use a mixture of media to reveal our lessons. Video, Audio, and writing. All will be sent directly to you via email.  The Private chat room- All members will have access to process through emotions, share personal insights and reflections, give feedback on others, ask questions, and generally support each other in the process of recovery. I will also be commenting, answering questions, and giving feedback as necessary throughout the day.  Private sessions- Included in the full session are 4 private sessions with me in person, via skype or phone to help you go deeper into your personal process.  I will also be available by email or additional private sessions as needed.

There are three choices of participation depending on what works best for you. Click here to find out more information.”

“The more you identify with the light of your being, the lighter you will feel. You will materialize a lighter body when you have a more light filled mind. Fear literally weighs you down, but love enlightens you”~ Marianne Williamson

Aleka has graciously offered to give one lucky reader 50% off the course, which begins January 10th.  The perfect way to start off a new year… anyone with weight issues or food dynamics that they wish to get to the root of would benefit from this course immensely.  Leave a comment below and I will announce both the winner of Aleka’s food issues eCourse, as well as the winner of my Health Connection Reset eCourse, this Friday!  There is still time to enter to win both of these eCourses, so get your comments in and meet us back here in two days!  See you there!

In the meantime, check out Aleka’s blog here… her Facebook fan page here… and her website.  I know Aleka personally and I can tell you she is the real deal.  Nothing but pure honest rock-solid wisdom and strength and beauty pours out of this woman.   Much love to you, Aleka, as you launch this exciting new program!  xoxo