My lovely grandma passed away early last Friday morning…
As I head up to here part of the country for services and to hug my beautiful precious mother and spend time with her, I feel extremely open to spirit and tender.
It is during these times I like to remember some of my most vivid intuitions and enjoy knowing my grandmother is a part of the pure, positive world of spirit.
I remember my very favorite spiritual vision I’ve ever had and I’d like to share that with you here today in memory of my grandmother’s life here on earth and to the freedom she feels now as a soul:
I was driving with my kids and listening to music and hearing them chat back and forth as we drove, and as happens quite often, my heart was suddenly filled with love for them.
Physically full of love… so full it was bursting.
Full of just total and absolute gratitude that they were both in my life.
Usually during these *attacks* of joy I hold my breath and smile and sort of internally squeeze my heart in a hug around this joy.
Sort of suppress it inward.
Today I decided to let the love radiate outwards… just release it and see where it went.
I literally felt my heart expand and fill the car… then I saw it expand to cover my little town and then it grew to cover my entire state. I kept letting it fly, not getting in the way, just feeling it expand.
I felt it cover our entire country, then expand out to fill the entire planet. I saw it expand outward and fill our solar system, our galaxy, and our entire universe.
My heart kept expanding outward and I figured that since I have absolutely no idea what happens after you pan out to the entire universe I thought, “this is going to get interesting.”
I started to see the sides of space curve as my heart expanded past the outer limits of space (I didn’t know there was such a thing!) and time became a non-reality… the very second my heart expanded out past the confines of space and time and *matter* as we know it, I felt incredible… an expansive feeling I had never ever had before.
As I expanded out past the outer limits of the universe, I felt and fullness and a lightness I had never known before.
Unexpected and delightful.
My heart kept expanding to see that our entire universe was being held in the palm of the hand of a beautiful, shining soul.
There were many many souls all gathered around, looking down at our universe and chatting and exclaiming happily about what was going on down there.
There was much delight and laughter and conversation.
- The first thing I realized was how cool it was that even though there were so many souls around, each one was unique and completely distinguishable from each other and instantly recognizable to me.
- The second thing I realized was how much FUN they were having as they looked over our universe… I could hear many of them excitedly planning their visit and looking forward to what they wanted to do on earth.
The interesting thing was, that they were not all wanting to live a luxurious life or even a peaceful life.
Each was looking at our world and seeing different things that delighted them.
Some were excited to experience things that we would perceive as negative or sad… fighting in battles and getting illnesses and dying. They were excited just to be able to come down and experience the physical world… eat food and run and swim and jump and climb.
The closest way I can describe it was that they were thrilled at the idea of coming down to have fun and play!
Just like if we were to take part in a movie… some of us would think it was more fun to play the bad guy or the villain then the good guy or the sweet boring neighbor.
I always thought the actor in Harry Potter that probably had the most fun in filming was Voldemort, even though he is absolutely one of the most horrible characters ever invented.
Just the fun of playing a role, any role, and enjoying it all along the way… no matter how story line went.
If you knew you were only acting, even the tragic death scenes would be fun to play.
This is how they felt too. They knew it was all an act, that would be short lived and fun to experience, returning them ultimately to this amazing expansive and limitless state once again.
And I wondered, having just felt this incredible expansive freedom when leaving the constrains of the physical world (where we are bound by the parameters of time progression and gravity and mass) why anyone ever would want to leave this amazing lightness of being and this interconnected pure positive energy state to go down onto heavy heavy earth… where gravity pulls us down and words are mumbled and bumbled and we communicate so thickly and so slowly with our mouths and move so heavily with our bodies.
Why would we give up expansive freedom for this limited physical *reality*?
I witnessed the answer first hand: because it is fun.
They wanted to experience it, temporarily, and enjoy it.
All of it.
The good times and bad times and the up sides of life and the down sides of life and the joy and the sorrow and the laughter and the pain. They wanted to ride the roller coaster for the experience and for the fun of it.
Without the fun of it, no one in their right mind would ever leave this total light filled and love filled sanctuary to come down to earth. But the expression of life on earth is joy and fun, when we allow it to be.
It was the most intense vision I’ve ever head and one that I can still *feel* when I remember it.
I just think it’s so cool that when I focused on the love I had in my heart and I let it guide me, it led me right to the eternal source of true love and happiness, the interconnection of our souls and this positive anticipation of FUN.
That’s where love led me that day… I guess that’s where love leads us all, when we allow it.
I just had to remember to allow it to expand instead of trapping it in.
As I was describing the vision to my children and telling them exactly where my overwhelming love for them had led me, my daughter had the best analogy I’ve ever heard, better than the ones I was able to come up with.
It was so awesome that I painted it.
“It reminds me of how I feel when I am swimming. I am holding my breath underwater, and as I come up to the surface, I break through the top and take a big free breath. It feels amazing,” Clara said.
Holy. Crap. YES!
This is what took me paragraph after paragraph to try to explain. That’s it!
The feeling of holding your breath for a long period of time… breaking through the surface… expanding into all that you are, all that soul freedom… greeting all of your loved ones and re-emerging into non-physical.
Do you have a loved one who as passed away?
This painting (I call “Returning Home”) is the closest thing I have ever seen to what it feels like to break through that barrier and release your earthly confines.
See all the souls, still holding their breath but swimming up to the top?
All the joy and love that waits for them just above the surface?
How wonderful it feels to take that first big breath and remember who you truly are… that you are more than your earthly body, that you are a soul eternal?
The love that surrounds us and awaits us as we make this journey is intoxicating.
As a physician I’ve witnessed first hand how beautiful it is when a patient is dying and the veil between worlds lifts away.
Often they see and begin conversing with loved ones who are joyfully waiting for them on the other side.
Many times they actually feel and express joy and elation as they begin to move on past this lifetime.
Often they turn their gaze upwards and reach their arms outward.
It is quite a beautiful thing, unexpected by many of the family members that are present.
(To answer questions that I know I’ll get emailed… the original canvas sold. But I did get the artwork made into Giclee prints and they are listed here.)
Sometimes living down here on Earth can feel hard. Heavy and hard.
That’s when I remember… it’s because we are all down here, holding our breath, carrying around these heavy heavy Earth suits.
For certain, there is great joy and fun to be had down here.
But it is nothing compared to that lightness of being that souls feel.
It’s a great big swim down here… temporary and interesting and fun and playful and deep.
Just know that when we make that swim up to the surface, the fullness of our being awaits.